16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
