So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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