my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
