I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
