I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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