I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
