Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
