Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
