you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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