whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
