Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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