Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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