Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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