I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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