just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
