Where is the hickey?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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