I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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