Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
