And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
