I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
