My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
