i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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