I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
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