you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
