Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
