Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
