All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I licked your asshole in confidence.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
