doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
