Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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