Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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