I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
