areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize