Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
