guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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