question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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