I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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