Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I will be naked everywhere
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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