ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
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I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
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I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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