Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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