Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
