Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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