is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
