I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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