I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
