he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
