That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
