He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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