I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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