i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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