I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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