Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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