My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
