booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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