can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
