you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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