We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
