Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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