she was so not down for the gang bang
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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