shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
