Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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