Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
