my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
